Friday

Want to Survey Your Customers? Don't Do This.

How are we doing? We're dying to know. So we'd like to take just 15 minutes of your time (until you give up in disgust) to ask you a whole bunch of questions we haven't thought through very well.

From the U.S. Post Office (which recently sent a four-page, 29-question survey to its business customers) to membership organizations and consumer call centers, everybody is increasingly eager to find out if you're happy with their service.

But they don't make it easy. Here's what's wrong with these questionnaires:

> Too time-consuming. OK, you have a lot on your mind. But what are the top three to five issues? If you want a decent-sized sample, your initial survey should not take longer than five minutes to complete. (You could always return to the responders with more detailed questions, or ask for their e-mail addresses to continue the conversation.)

> Too complicated. Don't make me think too hard! And don't give me too many choices. Do we really need to differentiate between Strongly Agree and Somewhat Agree?

> Not enough options. No place for the user to indicate that s/he has no experience with the service item in question ("Have not used"). This is not the same as "Don't Know," which strikes me as an unwise option. ("Yeah, I'm just a know-nothing.) How about "No Opinion" instead?

> No place for user input. What if there's something I'm dying to tell you about your service, but none of your questions deals with it? Always leave space at the end for this if your format allows.

> Format glitches. If you're using Survey Monkey or a similar application, do a thorough dry run of the completed questionnaire to catch any problems. I recently gave up on a survey that left a space for "Other" that could be filled in but refused to let me proceed unless I checked one of the other boxes. And don't ask a question that obliges the user to keep clicking back to the previous page for vital information.

> 'Creative' questions. I'm a member of an online small-business panel for a web host. They recently asked us to imagine an electronic device for businesses that would be created in the year 2040. People who are not in creative professions tend to clutch when asked to imagine something. What you get is a hazy description of whatever gadget these folks saw in the last sci-fi movie they watched.

> Self-serving questions. Did we deliver world-class service today? Is the sky blue?